Thursday, December 26, 2013

Love Came Knocking on My Door

Sometime around 2006 or 2007 I did my first MAP session.  MAP stands for Medical Assistance Program, which comes from the book, MAP: The Co-Creative White Brotherhood Medical Assistance Program, by Machaelle Small Wright.  This type of healing session is done on your own by calling on your own special MAP team and lying down to relax and receive the healing.  It's very simple.

My son was taking a nap and I went to the living room to do my very first session.  I was still in my pajamas.  I lay down on the floor and set my intention for the session: Love.  Just that, love.  Since I did not have any physical issues going on, I just decided that I would like to receive love.  I lay there relaxing and I did feel specific things going on in my body.  It was interesting.  As I was lying there, someone knocked on my door.  Since I was in the middle of my session and still in my PJs, I decided to ignore the door and not answer it.

When the session was over, I got up to see if that mystery person had left anything by the door.  I opened the door to find a spherical cardboard tube.  I had no idea what it might be.  I opened it and unrolled a poster.  On the poster was one word: LOVE.  Yes, that's right, just minutes after I had set my intention to receive love, love came knocking on my door.  I had ordered that poster six weeks prior and forgotten completely about it.  And how synchronistic that it came at that very moment, right?  I was truly amazed and quite shocked.

Ask and you shall receive.  Never doubt the power that you are.  This is a holographic and interactive universe.  Use it.  Play with it, but only for the highest good always.  This occurrence was definitely purposeful to show me the nature of this reality and that I can trust it.  We can all trust it.  Ask for what you want and be open to receive.

Here's a link to that book in case you are curious: 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

The New Reality of Being/Winter Solstice December 21, 2013 - A Poem

Breathe it in
Can the body hold all this love?
Bursting with love, about to explode
Body vibrating, vibrating, vibrating
Embodying more of my soul
It’s the new me, the me I’ve always been
And the old me?
No trace, no past, only Love
Higher frequencies, more dimensions
Opening up, opening up
Will humanity wake up to who they are?
Time collapsing into Now
Singularity converging at all points
Into One
Timelines shifting and fading away
Separation melding into Eternal Blissful Union
Spinning, constant spinning
Through the core of my Being
Waves of undulating energy
Around and through the body
Synchronicity with every blink of the eye
The world disappears into the hologram of projection
Can I contain all this love?
I send it out
Feel it
Heart expansions
Breathe it in

Friday, December 6, 2013

Channeled Messages From the Arcturian Planet Cheuel

I channeled these messages a few years ago.  I'm posting them now in case there are some Starseeds who are ready to wake up and happen to read this.

Channeling of Lady Cheuel

On January 2, 2010, in the early morning while I was still half asleep, I heard a voice in my head saying, “Get a pen, get a pen, get a pen,” over and over again.  I knew I was being asked to channel for the first time in my life.  I told the voice telepathically to please wait until I was awake as I was not ready to wake up yet.  Ha!   A few minutes later, I got a pad of paper and a pen and began writing this channeled message. 

First, I will explain that the night before I had finished reading the book, Songs of the Arcturians, by Patricia Pereira.  There is a glossary in the back of the book and there are two definitions I will provide here for clarity:

CHEUEL:  An Arcturian sister planet to Earth destroyed by her citizens because of improper nuclear energy use about five million years ago (in Earth historical time).  Abundantly forested and populated with many animals and plants, it was recently restored by the Intergalactic Brotherhood to pristine form.  It awaits Arcturian starseeds as a rest and recuperation planet after their mission on Earth is completed.

CHEUEL STARSEEDS:  Arcturian starseeds associated with the explosion of Cheuel and the karmic implications of same.  Many were implanted upon Earth as long as five million years ago.  Their heart-mind (or Soul) memories retain the vision of Cheuel’s destruction.  They are programmed to awaken in the latter years of the twentieth century to assist in the evolution of humanity at a critical, parallel time in Earth’s evolution.

Channeled messages:

Bring Forth Your Light
January, 2, 2010

It is I, Master Cheuel, planet destroyed, who wishes to speak through you now.  It is that I may be of service to the slumbering Ones, those who previously resided on the planet of Cheuel with whom I wish to address in this transmission.  Those, who will awaken upon reading these words, it is you my Loved Ones to whom I speak now.  It was more than five million years ago that I was destroyed.  It was a sad point in the history of time.  You, who were scattered among the ethers chose to reside on Earth.  It is the time of your awakening, My Dear Souls.  It is Love I emit to you to brighten your souls.  My message to you this day is that you be clear about who it is that you are.  You are the awakening ones on the planet Earth and yet you are so much more.  You have come to resurrect the Divine Plan on Earth.  You and your Brethren shall succeed in this mission for it is the light that shall prevail.  It is good for you to hear these words and to heed these words as well.  Do not doubt the power of your group mind.  Yes, I say group mind, because when you are connected as One, you sound a group note out into the Universe that is a Love Tone.  That tone makes up a harmonic upon which your light glides.  It reaches far into the ethers from where I speak.  It is you who have returned to resurrect God’s Love Tones into the Earth.  It is all about Love, you see, as it always has been.  This you must remember Dear Ones.  The Light of the Most Radiant One shines down upon you.  Your eyes are adjusting to the Light and when they do, you will stand tall in this Light.  And it is you who will bring forth this Light, that is You.

It is a day of reckoning My Dear Ones.  A day full of grace indeed.  It is unto you I sing the songs of the harmonies of the Universe.  May you hear these tones of Light.  May they wash upon your ears like waves upon the shore, Love’s twinkling hue.  These tones are over-laid with tones.  They build upon your Light-force as you then emit these tones.  These are light-encoded activations that you send forth and this activates your Brethren.  You are Light shining onto the world and I love you.

You, who read my words, You are My Beloveds, scattered among the ethers, nowhere to call Home.  Embodied as Humans now ready to make your call.  Beloved are my Masters who chose to walk the Earth.

It is you I call upon now, resting in your slumber.  May your minds awaken to my call, with overtones of Love.  It is time to remember who you are, awakening ones.  To hear the call of my Love is to hear the call of Home.  I rest not in the hurried lives you live, but in the Peace of my making.  You, too, shall learn to make this Peace as you learn to glide upon the waves of Love and Light I emit to you.  Slumber not, my Dear Children, for it is the time of the Quickening – your time to awaken to the truth of who you are.  You are so much more than what you see with your eyes.  You are Brilliant Lights which dance in the Universe, among the stars, among your homes in the sky.   

Through Love’s embrace I hold you, my Dear Ones.  You are awakening as you read these words.  Feel my presence descend unto you like soft waves in undulating form.  I tone Love’s note within you as you recall your harmonic hum, your harmonic Home. 

Be aware that great changes are among the Earth Plane.
May these words fall upon open ears, for I wish to tell a story.  The story started five million years ago when great sands stirred upon Cheuel.  It was the force of the Dark Lords that cast upon us.  They maketh Cheuel their home.  They gave us no choice and we were under their command.  Many a soul have we lost to them, though they will return.  A sorrowful loss was our fate, though it was a lesson to make.  Shall it not happen again upon any other land.  I, Lord of Cheuel, will see to it now, for I have borne my greatest loss.  It is Love’s note I tone to you now.  For you are not to bear the burden of a land once lost.  Yours to gain is a place in the stars on your home of today, that of Mother Earth.  Triumph is yours to taste in your mouth and tears of joy shall you sing.  May my heart notes lay within you and sing the song of Love’s triumph.

It is the story of lives lost but also of hearts gained, for it is through the loss of the heart that one finds it again.  Lest it not be too late.  I chime Love’s note upon you again.

The day has come to hear this call.  There was a time when people walked in peace.  They felt joy in their hearts and they knew who they were.  That time has come for you, for you are to know peace and joy in your heart.  This time has been predicted by the Ancients and it is yours to realize in time.  For there is no time but what you have now.  You may speed up this process by being in the NOW.  I sound Love’s note to you now.

It was many years ago that I (Lady Cheuel) walked upon the Earthen Plane.  I was known as She – a…. Shekina is the Divine Feminine and I embodied her as Shena.  I romanced the Earth with Love’s embrace.  She and I danced our way to your galaxy.  We are sisters.

I bring forth the Light from the Star System, Arcturus.  Allow the Love notes to dance upon the keys of your existence.  I strike a chord in the chambers of your heart.  This message comes to you in Love.  We are here to assist Humanity in the evolution of its Soul.  We love the Earth and Humanity alike.  We have been where you are now.  It is our mission to help you succeed in this grand plan.  It is your destiny to rise among the stars.

February 1, 2010

It is I, Master Cheuel, who speaks to you now.  May you hear my words in undulating form as they strike the love chords in your heart.  I tone my love note unto you now.  Hear my call for it is the truth.  It is upon these ears that I tell my story, the story of rebirth.  I was once a planet of lushness and life.  The end came when through a careless act, I was destroyed.  May this not happen to you, Beloved Terra.  Terra the Beloved, you dance in grand form to your home among the stars.  We await your arrival.

There is a Grand Plan about which I speak now.  It is a Divine Plan made by the Masters of all Universes.  You shall succeed in making this plan a success.  The Ascension of the Earth to a higher vibratory rate is what this plan is about.  For you are not the only ones ascending, for we are all a part of this Master’s Plan.  Why do you think we care so much about you?  It is because we are all connected.  More than you can imagine.

April 26, 2011

It is I, Lady Cheuel.  I come to communicate with you now.  It is in this perceived hour of darkness that I rest so peacefully in thee.  Earth Rising, Earth Risen, Earth be taken to its highest point in history, in her-story.

You are feeling the vibrations of her rising, of her becoming.  Allow the gale force winds to rest peacefully in your hearts.  You are on the precipice of change in all you know and have ever known.  Listen to your soul’s calling – it calls you forth.  Give me a chance to utter into the membrane of the plants for they are listening, too.  All of Earth’s creatures are heeding this call to remember, to remember from where all things came to be.  Listen to Earth’s utterances, the utterances of the Soul calling you Home.  Back to the One, The Glorious One.
May 10, 2011

Lady Cheuel speaks with you now.  Upon closing of our last session, I was speaking to you about the utterances of the Earth’s creatures.  They wish to send messages to those of you who are listening.  Open your ears, Dear Ones.  Listen to the birds talk to you.  Listen to the wildflowers, who in their full bloom, show you the bounty of God’s Love.  Feel the Earth’s essences fill your brain and your being.  For it is with these essences of the Earth that you will flourish.  Listen to the water.  There are many messages in the water.  Listen to the Earth’s tides as they ebb and flow.  There are many messages in the water that you do not understand yet, but she will teach you.  I refer to the water as “she,” because she is literally the Body of the Earth.  Yes, she is made up of many land masses, but her soul is in the water.  Just as your soul is in the water – in the mist of your essence – the sacred part of you is held within the water molecule.  It is in the transformation of this mist that is your greatest power, the power that rests within each soul – the power to transform.  You are the most powerful Beings on the Earth and yet, you do not let yourselves believe this.  This is due to mind manipulation, but that time is coming to an end.  It is the power of your mind that will enable you to transcend this time of manipulation, this time of control.  You are to know freedom.  Freedom is your birthright.  We have waited eons to watch you do what you are embarking upon – the total transformation of your beingness.  We watch and we wait, we the gleeful ones, who are your brethren stars and planets.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My Jesus Stories-Part 3: The Seeding of Christ Consciousness on Earth

In around 2007, 2008, or 2009, (I really don't remember which year), I had an interesting and intense experience that lasted about 2 weeks.  During those two weeks, I literally felt like Jesus.  I felt that he was embodied in me.  It felt like I was looking out through his eyes.  When I looked in the mirror and looked into my eyes, it was like looking into the eyes of Jesus.  Most of the mind chatter in my head was his words.  My inner dialogue automatically spoke the words of Jesus much of that time.  I felt that I emanated his essence, his vibration, and his energy.  I felt expanded.  I really felt like I was walking around as him.  I would go into the bathroom with my eyes wide open in disbelief and stunned about what I was feeling and look into my eyes only to find that once again, it was true, there were his eyes.  I was radiating with a vibrant light.  I have no idea if anyone else could sense anything different about me, but I never thought about that.  I just knew what I was feeling and it blew my mind the whole time.  It was both a surreal and very real experience.

I didn't tell anyone what I was experiencing during that time.  I mean, you can't just go around telling people, "I feel like Jesus."  That would be ridiculous!  It wasn't until maybe one or more years later that I shared my experience with an online spiritual group where I was a member.  I was happy that I finally shared my experience because at least one other person (there may have been 2 others) said that they had the same exact experience that also lasted for about 2 weeks.  It may have even occurred around the same time as my experience.  It was a relief to know that someone else had had this experience.

Although I was baptized Catholic, I did not grow up with religion.  My parents tried to bring us to church as very young kids, but because my sister had such huge temper tantrums when my mother tried to make her wear a dress, I think my mother just gave up on the whole idea.  I was agnostic from the age of 10 until 29 and I did not believe that Jesus existed until around 2005.  I felt that the entire bible was just a made up story before that.  I actually hadn't read it, but I had heard some things about Christianity and none of it resonated with me at all.  I really rejected the whole thing.  Still to this day I believe that most, if not all, organized religions are cults.  Not all of them are harmful, but they still fit the description of a cult.  In this lifetime, I don't ever foresee fitting myself into the box of any religion.  My connection to God is a direct connection and I don't need any rules or intermediaries for that connection.

So, for me to have this experience out of the blue was surprising.  I liked it and it felt very good, but it certainly didn't come from any desire within my conscious mind to know Jesus in a more intimate way.  It was just sort of sprung upon me.  I know that Jesus did not come to Earth to create Christianity or any religion.  I know that his presence on this Earth has been used for distortion of the truth and as a means of controlling people through the creation of religion using his name.

What I embodied those two weeks was the Christ and Christ Consciousness, which has nothing to do with religion.  I continue to embody Christ Consciousness along with many others on the Earth right now.  This is the time of the seeding of Christ Consciousness that Yeshua (Jesus) came here to teach and spread.  I suppose this was the reason he came to be within me and radiate through me those days and I suppose that energy and frequency was seeded in the Earth through me.  I feel blessed to be a part of this seeding and to have had his very real presence within me.    

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Kundalini Yoga and Me-Part 3: White Tantric Yoga; Releasing a Lifetime of Emotional Pain and the Reclamation of the Divine Union Between the Healed Masculine and Feminine on Earth

Yogi Bhajan brought White Tantric Yoga into form and created 126 of these video-taped workshops before his passing in 2004.  White Tantric Yoga is done in pairs, preferably male-female, because they hold the masculine/feminine polarity and in a large group.  People are lined up shoulder to shoulder in long lines facing their partner.  There is a facilitator and the group watches Yogi Bhajan on video as he teaches and guides the class.  This is about a 9.5-hour class with a lunch break.  The class consists of generally 31 or 62 minute meditations in which you hold a position for that length of time, take and break and then do another 31 or 62 minute meditation.

I participated in my first White Tantric Yoga workshop yesterday, November 2nd.  This is a requirement for my Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training.  The class yesterday went like this: in the morning we did two 31-minute meditations and then a 22-minute one, with a 20-minute break in between each.  After lunch we did two 31-minute meditations, a 62-minute one and then an 18-minute one.  Almost all of the meditations had us holding our arms straight out in front of ourselves and holding onto our partner in some way.  Most of them were also with eye-gazing, staring into the eyes of our partner.  Some of them had us chanting mantras the whole time as well.  Sometimes we did a particular breathing technique.  The group energy is supposed to be a catalyst to increase the power of the yoga meditations.

The purpose of White Tantric Yoga is to clear out the accumulation of a lifetime of subconscious debris such as painful emotions and burdensome thoughts.  By holding the positions, mudras, breathing, chanting, etc. for all that time, you are moving through your blocks.  When pain in the body arises, and you push through it, you are clearing out what the subconscious mind and body has been holding inside it for so long.

This event is also happening at an energetically powerful time with the current astrological alignments and today's new moon total solar eclipse.  It is a time of re-birth and huge awakenings.  The affect of this new moon solar eclipse is supposed to last for two years, so it's a big one!

                               This picture shows one the the positions we held for 31 minutes.

So, when I was holding my arms out in front of me "all day" yesterday, I had pretty continuous burning pain in the muscles in my back at the level of my shoulder blades.  My partner, a beautiful woman from Denmark with stunning blue eyes, which I had the pleasure of staring into all day, pointed out to me that my pain was in my heart chakra.  That had not occurred to me, but she was right.  I told her, "Yes, that makes perfect sense.  I have a lifetime of heart-break that I need to heal.  I need to heal my heart."  I was not thinking of anything specific when those words came out, I just knew I had had a lifetime of heart-break.  I had been having an issue with my second rib on the left side getting out of alignment, which literally crosses over the heart.  It protects the heart.  It had been bothersome for a few months.  I knew it had to do with my heart chakra and my literal heart that had carried so much pain in my life.  I never considered the back side of my heart chakra as having any issues, but of course, the chakra encompasses that entire area of the body.

As I was holding the positions during the workshop, I would breathe through the pain in my back.  I would focus my mind on the music that was playing, or on the mantra I was chanting, my breathing, or even on the pain itself.  My mind would move from one of these to the other as I tried my hardest not to drop the position.  They say that if you can stay with it and keep going, you can pass through the pain.  The pain will pass and you will have broken through your block.  I had never been able to do that in any of my Kundalini Yoga classes.  I would always get to a point of intense muscular pain and have to stop, recover for a few seconds and then start again.  I could never just breathe through it and experience the pain passing as my teacher kept telling us would happen.  Until yesterday!  The pain would arise, I would breathe through it and literally feel it disappear.  This would not happen rapidly and for most of the time I did experience the pain, but there were several times when it did go away completely.  And then it would come back.  Perhaps more layers of it were coming to the surface as one cleared out.  I knew that this muscular pain was really emotional pain that was stored in the body.  I knew that if I could move through it, I would be releasing something, I just didn't know what.

Nothing came up for me during the workshop, or last night.  Then, today I was on the phone with a friend.  Her father recently passed away and she has been spending time with her mother.  She told me of the closeness, bonding and fun they had been having together.  She was telling her mother how grateful she is to have a loving mother like her.  She explained to her mother what had happened when my father passed away and I was suffering from severe adrenal fatigue.  I was living with my mother as I had come home to take care of my dying father.  Then, I collapsed into bed for 6 months, extremely ill, fighting for my life.  My mother was verbally and emotionally abusive to me the whole time, regularly yelling at me to go live on the street while I lay in bed sick.  My mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and was abusive my whole life.  I stopped talking to her 5 years ago.  When my friend told this to her mother, her mother cried out of compassion for me, saying how she felt so sorry for me.  This is a woman I don't know.  When I heard this, I started sobbing.  It hit directly into my heart pain.  For this mother-figure to feel compassion for me and to express emotion, crying for me, was something that I had never felt growing up.  True caring from a "mother".  This was the catalyst that sent me into sobbing and realizing what that heart chakra pain in my back was.  This was it - my grief of not having a loving mother in this life.  I cried and cried.  I cried until my head hurt.  There was a lot of pain in there.  Waves of grief would come up throughout the day and I would cry some more.  I was literally tapping into the little girl I had been while growing up, who never expressed her sadness.

I almost never cried as a child.  In addition to having an emotionally abusive mother, I also had a completely emotionally-unavailable father.  I suppose the environment at home when I was a kid did not allow for the expression of emotion.  I remember when a friend of mine died when I was 10, I was stunned and sad, but unable to cry.  I was jealous of my friend who cried for 2 hours when she heard the news.  I knew that was an important release, but was not able to tap into my emotions to cry.  I remember so many times when it would have been natural to cry and I just didn't.  I didn't cry at 10 when my dog died right in front of my house.  I went to look at her laying there on the grass after having been hit by a car and I felt numb.  When I was at my grandfather's funeral when I was 10 (yeah, 10 was kind of a big year!), my cousin, who was crying a lot, got angry and yelled at my brother, sister and I, because none of us were crying.  She said that we would never see him again and how could we not be crying?  I noticed then that none of us were able to feel or express our emotions in any real or tangible way.  I remember being envious of her, too, being able to openly express her emotions and cry.  I knew that was healthy and that my siblings and I were repressing our emotions and unable to access them to release them.  It must not have been safe for us to cry or express ourselves at home.  My mother was very volatile and angry a lot of the time.  I think she just scared us into silence.  I silenced my voice, my power and my emotions.  None of those had any validity in my home.  I held in my emotions my entire childhood and into my late twenties.  I started crying in my late twenties.  I am very grateful that I was able to get to that point of healing - crying is healing, because it is a release.  All of this to say that I had lots of emotional pain held in my body and mind.  

The interesting thing is that my back muscles are not sore today at all.  One would think that because those muscles were burning with pain during the yoga, they would be sore today, but it is just the opposite. They feel completely free and loose.  It was not physical exertion that caused that pain, it was emotional pain stored in there that caused it.  The release of the energy was what allowed it to come to the surface as grief and tears.  It is a blessing and a deep healing.

Your soul knows what is coming for you and does all the prep work:

My Two Dreams Leading up to This Event

This past week I had dreams two nights in a row, which are related to all of this.  In the first one, there was a young girl who was lost and separated from her mother.  Both the mother and daughter were sad, fearful, and in a state of total desperation that they had been separated and could not find each other.  I found the girl and reunited her with her mother.  When I brought the two together, they were so relieved and overjoyed to have found each other once again.  I empathically felt their fear and desperation of having been separated and simultaneously their relief of being reunited.  I cried as I was feeling both of their emotions.  I was also happy to be able to help them find each other.

When I woke up, I understood the deeper meaning of the larger picture at play - the cosmic playing out of the Divine Feminine (the Divine Mother) having been overpowered by the corrupted/hijacked masculine and the lost, fearful child (humanity) suffering from the loss of the Mother.  There is a rejoicing in this reunion!  Their reunion in my dream is a good sign of progress as we are now in the time of the reclamation of the Divine Feminine on planet Earth.  It is the healed Divine Masculine that brought them together again and the ability to do so represents that the Divine Masculine really has healed.  We are now in The Age of Aquarius and we are reclaiming and resurrecting the Divine Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine energies on this planet.

My life always represents the microcosm of the macrocosm.  I am in the midst of healing the Divine Masculine and Feminine within me and scenarios are playing out in my life to show me this.  Also, as an energetic, vibrational and magnetic healer, I take on the healing of the collective in my energetic field.  I heal the karma, genetic lineages, and energetic patterning of those who come into my field as well as for the collective at large (humanity).  This is the reason I clear emotions and energies in large chunks; they are not all mine.  I am usually aware of this happening, but even so, it is energetically challenging for me as I go through it.  So, as I clear the micro, which shows up as "my life", I am also clearing for humanity at the macro level. 

Second Dream

The next night, I had another poignant and related dream.  In this dream I was at my mother's house, the home where I grew up.  My mother and I were in the kitchen and I was turning over some food that was on the stove.  She yelled at me for not doing it right.  I told her to stop yelling at me.  She denied that she had yelled at me.  I told her to go look in the mirror in the dining room and yell at me as she had just done and to look at herself while doing it.  I told her to ask herself why she treats me like a piece of shit.  She did it.  In doing this I had hoped she would be able to see clearly how she was acting and not continue to do it from an unconscious repeating pattern as she had always done.  I think she could see the reality of her behavior when she did it in front of the mirror.  (unconscious destructive patterns becoming conscious of themselves)

Then, we went into the family room and I yelled at her telling her I hated her.  I yelled, "I hate you!  I HATE you!  I really Hate you!"  She sat down next to me on the couch.  This was totally out of character as she would normally react and go into a rage at me, not come closer.  My sister was in the room, observing – it was as if I were speaking for her, too, like she was happy about all I was expressing and glad she didn’t have to do it, because I was doing it all.  She was working on some art on a big poster board on the floor (representing the silent child).  Masaru Emoto (author of Messages from Water and the Universe and other books on the vibrational affects of words and thoughts on water molecules) was coming over and I suggested that she draw some water droplets with words inside, like love, harmony, etc.  There was some message here within the dream about how words affect those around us (i.e, my mothers angry words toward me). 

Continuing to speak strongly at my mother, I told her that she never once complimented me my entire life, she always undermined me and criticized me.  I told her that she came from a family of fighters, that she, her sisters, mother and aunt all fought, but I am not like that.  I shouted, "I AM HERE FOR WORLD SERVICE, FOR LOVE, PEACE, COMPASSION, HEALING, AND LIGHT!  I AM HERE TO SERVE HUMANITY!  YOU ARE HERE TO FIGHT AND I AM NOT THAT!  I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT AND WANT NO PART OF IT!  THAT IS YOUR THING BUT NOT MINE!"  She realized I was right and said, "I want to change."  Oh. My. God.  First. Time. Ever.

Then in the dream I was on a boat and near the shore.  I dove in and swam to shore.  I had to go into a changing room to get out of my wet bathing suit and put on my clothes. I was in a private dressing room when people started coming in.  I kept telling them to GET OUT!  More people kept coming in and not listening to me. They were all wearing business suits and talking amongst themselves, not paying attention to me.  I was yelling at them to get out!  Since they were not listening to me, I started throwing their wallets and purses out of the room thinking that they would surely go running after them.  It was a challenege.  There was a lot of yelling on my part and total resistance on theirs.  This dream was about taking back my power, using my voice, and claiming my space and sovereignty.  I believe that those people in the business suits represented the corrupted power elite on the planet (hijacked Masculine) who have no regard for humanity.  I knew that their wallets and purses were their most prized possessions and that throwing them out of the room would get their attention.

I always say that I cannot see my mother seeing the light in this lifetime.  The fact that she said she wanted to change in this dream felt like a sign that the Divine Feminine is reclaiming her power and healing.  I was obviously reclaiming both my masculine and feminine aspects of myself in these dreams and marrying the two.

When the release of my grief came up today, there was a heart-opening, which allowed more love and gratitude to flow from me.  I already had so much love and gratitude in my heart before this, but by releasing the sadness and the hurt inner-child, even more space opened up inside me to hold more light and love.  I know that I chose my mother to be my mother in this life and I am not a victim.  I simply held on to my emotional pain so long and now I am releasing it.  There is no blame here.  I am filled with gratitude for all of my journey and even for having this mother, because I am who I am, a being of light and love, who is here to be that, radiate that and uplift humanity.  I have walked the path of so many and people can relate to my struggles.  I can be a lighthouse to help show the way to peace, love, forgiveness and healing. 

Receiving the Divine Mother's Love

A few months ago, my friend's mother died.  Later that week,  I was thinking about this loving woman and what a wonderful mother she was to my friend and her sister.  I had slept over at their house so many times as a pre-teen and teenager and I really got to see this loving and affectionate mother interact with her two daughters.  This type of interaction was foreign to me, but I silently admired it and felt some heart-pain watching it, since it was nothing I knew in my life at home with my own mother.  God, my inner child has probably been craving this mother-love my whole life and I just didn't know how to place it.  Anyway, as I was thinking about this woman, suddenly she appeared as a HUGE light-being in the sky reaching her hand down to me and showering me with more mother's love than I have ever felt in my life!  I sobbed and sobbed as my body and heart took in this deeply penetrating love that was just overwhelming.  It felt like in that moment I was being fed with the mother's love I had missed out on my entire life.  And it was coming from a high, divine source through this woman.  It was powerfully healing.  She did it one more time that week and again I was fed by her love, the love of the Divine Mother.  It was intense.  My entire body heated up - it was a strong energetic experience.  I was so filled with gratitude that this woman saw me and gave me what I so needed.  I could really feel a mother's love for once.  I felt less alone on this planet.

  There have been so many karmically healing events leading up to this time that have prepared me for this moment of releasing my broken-hearted pain, healing the soul relationship with my mother, healing my inner-child, and the feminine and masculine aspects of myself.  I can see how the many dots are connected in the tapestry of my life.  I am opening up more and more to my life mission and stepping out more and more into the world in service.  This is more of my preparatory work - healing all aspects of the self.  I thank the Creator for this wild and bumpy ride! 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Pre-conception Memories

When my son was seven years old, he told me that he had two pre-conception memories.  In one of them he told me that I was asking him when he wanted to be born.  He says that I gave him several choices of birth-dates spanning over a few months.  He says he remembers looking at a calendar and choosing the date of his birthday.  This confirms that he was not yet in the womb because of the span of months for the choices.  So, we were both communicating this at the level of the soul.

The other pre-conception memory that my son had was a vision of being in the home we lived in after he was born.  We moved into that home when he was 2 months old.  In his vision he was on the couch in the living room with his father and he was about 3 or 4 years old.  It was a disturbing vision with his father doing something painful to his fingernail.  This was an important vision for my son to have before coming into this life.  He was given specific messages of aspects of his relationship with his father of which he needed to be aware.  These issues have already arisen in his relationship with his father with the fingernail incident only being symbolic.  Without going into too much detail, basically it's important for my son to be able to stand up to his father and use his voice.  It was an important impression for him to see as a soul being born to this father so that he could understand some of the challenges he would face.

This is the first time I have heard of pre-conception memories in the conscious state and I find it fascinating.  I know that there is extensive planning of our lifetimes from my work with clients doing Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy, but this is not something we usually remember from being on the other side.  

Monday, October 21, 2013

The Light Conception of My Son

I am writing about a topic I have never read about anywhere, except for in the book, Anna, Grandmother of Jesus, by Claire Heartsong.  In it, Anna describes the light conception of Jesus.  Light conception is also known as immaculate conception.  Now, you get the picture.

It was the spring of 2004.  I had been married for almost one year.  I didn't think too much about having a baby leading up to this time.  I wanted to have children, but figured it would happen eventually.  I really didn't give it much thought.  Then suddenly, the strongest feeling of I have to have a baby right now! came over me.  The feeling was intense.  I told my then husband, now ex.  At the time he was 28 years old and I was 32.  He said he was young and not ready.  I understood his feeling, but the feeling I had was like an unstoppable tsunami and there was nothing I could do about it.  I told him I was going to have a baby.  I just had to.  I was on the pill at the time.  I stopped taking it and attempted to conceive at ovulation for two months.  Nothing happened.  

In the meantime, I had a session with a highly skilled medical intuitive doctor.  He told me not to get pregnant.  I was on a thyroid hormone to correct an imbalance and he said that my thyroid was not strong enough to carry a baby to term.  He mentioned some other health issues in my uterus that I had no idea about and said that I would most certainly have a miscarriage, so I should not get pregnant right now.  This all scared me and I decided to prevent myself from getting pregnant now for sure.  The doctor had methods of healing which included herbal tea, essential oils and energy healing sessions.  He would work with me to resolve my issues so that I could have a baby one day.

So on the third month (after stopping the pill), I knew not to get pregnant.  That was easy I thought.  I knew when I ovulated and had been sick with an upper respiratory virus that whole week and didn't feel well.  There was no "bedroom action" due to my illness and ovulation.  

The 4th month rolled around.  I didn't get my period.  I was shocked when I took a pregnancy test and found out that I was pregnant.  But it was IMPOSSIBLE, I thought.  I called the medical intuitive doctor in a panic.  He did a scan of my body, but told me it was too early to know anything about the health of my body or the baby.  I had to wait.  He told me to follow up with him in a few weeks.

When I had a follow up session with the doctor, he told me that my baby had brought in special spiritual help and I had been completely healed.  He told me I could stop taking my thyroid medication.  Normally, when on thyroid medication, a woman must increase her dosage while pregnant.  In my case, I went completely off of my medication due to this miraculous healing brought on by my son in my womb!  I never went back on that medication as my healing was complete.  Whatever was wrong with my uterus had also been completely healed according to this doctor.  Phew.  I knew it was ok now to be pregnant.

My entire pregnancy was amazing.  I never felt ill from the pregnancy for one moment and I was ecstatic the entire time.  I felt wonderfully alive.  I was so happy my son was coming and I already loved him so much.  I was in total bliss the whole time.  Looking back I can see that it must have been his good energy which contributed to my feeling so great.  What a glorious time being pregnant with him was!

I always wondered how in the world I got pregnant.  It didn't make any sense.  Then one day, a few years after my son was born, I was at a workshop with a couple who does spiritual teaching and intuitive readings.  They were talking about light conception (immaculate conception) from some ancient times in Egypt.  I had not heard of this before, but it dawned on me then that perhaps this was what had happened with me.  I shyly raised my hand and told them my feeling about my son possibly being light conceived.  The man responded to me and said that he felt that it was true.  More recently I have received another confirmation by a highly accurate intuitive that yes, my son was light conceived and that many babies with the newer and higher frequencies are coming in this way.  I guess we can throw what we thought to be true about conception out the window!  

Am I saying that my husband at the time was not necessary?  No, I am not.  It is very obvious that my son has 50% of his father's genes.  Do I understand how this works?  No, not at all.  But I cannot deny my experience and my inner knowing.  Since I hear that I am not the only one, I want to hear more stories.  Where are the other light conceived babies?  I am sure most people are not aware if their children are born this way, which is fine.  Ultimately, it does not matter, but I think it's an interesting topic.

I know that it was my son's soul calling to me, telling me he was coming when I felt that overwhelming, unstoppable urge to have a baby.  I know that he was coming no matter what.  I know that I was being prepared for his arrival.  I know that I received special divine healing when he came into my womb.  

After our son was born, his father said that he could not remember his life before Skyler.  He said that his life did not begin until his son was born.  So, in the end, even though he said he was not ready to have a baby, he was filled with joy by having this beautiful, bright light enter our world.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Clearing Trauma and Physical Pain with Hypnosis

I have been a hypnotherapist for 9 years and although I have had some hypnosis for myself, none of those sessions were as intense as the one I had just yesterday.  I just finished my Master Hypnotherapist training this week and we did sessions with each other as part of our class requirements.  Yesterday in class I experienced a profoundly healing hypnosis session.  I had wanted to find the root cause of left ear pain that I had had on and off for the past 15 or 20 years.  I really had no idea how long I had had the pain, or when, or how it had started.

I know that hypnotherapy is excellent for finding the root cause of physical problems in the body and for releasing trauma.  Just by visiting the originating stressor while under hypnosis, the trauma and physical symptoms can be released from the body.  I have done so many sessions over the years in which clients have released emotional and physical pain and trauma from their bodies, minds and souls.  These traumas can be from this current lifetime or from other lifetimes.  So, I had seen much releasing and removal of emotional and physical pain and had heard of the great improvements in the lives of my clients since releasing all of that.  And now I had the chance to go through that in my own session and it was very powerful.

When my fellow classmate guided me back to the origin of the ear pain, I could first feel lots of pressure in my head and a growing sense of a strong emotion with some pressure in my chest, although I still did not know what event I was coming upon.  I could feel the physical reaction of my body before my mind knew where I was going.  That was interesting.  Then I arrived at the origin.  It was 19 years ago when I was in Portugal visiting my then boyfriend, who lived there at the time.  It was the middle of the night and I was sleeping alone in a bedroom at his apartment that he shared with an elderly woman.  My boyfriend was not home.  He worked for a weekly newspaper and once a week, on the night before the paper was published, he worked overnight.  The elderly woman in the apartment was the owner of the newspaper's mother, my boyfriend's boss.  So, there I was sleeping when the woman came into my room yelling, "Fogo!  Fogo!"  Fogo is fire in Portuguese.  I slowly woke up remembering her words and wondering if it was really true, or a dream, while at the same time I started to smell smoke.  I got out of bed, not fully aware of what was happening yet and asked her if she really did say fire.  She was on the phone, hysterical, and said that YES there was a fire.  I ran back into my bedroom and opened the huge wooden windows that opened like two doors with a latch in the middle.  Immediately, thick, black smoke blew into my face, flooding the room and I couldn't breathe.  I quickly closed the windows and ran to the other side of the apartment and opened the windows on that side.  The same thing happened.  Thick, black smoke flew in.  I knew the fire was beneath us.  I thought I might die that way.  I did not want to imagine what it would be like to be burned to death.

I could hear that the fire trucks had come and could hear the fire fighters outside.  I could not understand why no one was coming to save us.  It was frustrating.  When I had opened the window that faced the street, I could not call out even for one second.  There was too much thick, black smoke rushing in making it impossible to breathe.  How would we get out?  I knew we could not escape from the windows.  I had to find another way out.

I ran back to my room and put on my clothes, got my passport and purse with my wallet in it.  I knew that being in a foreign country and trying to get home without my passport or money would be horrible, so I grabbed them.  I was in complete and total fear and yet I had my wits about me.  I was in survival mode.  I was also aware that I was wasting time by putting on my clothes, but I did not want to go out in public wearing my pajamas and no bra (dumb, I know!).  I think I instinctively knew I had enough time to do that.  At the same time I was having thoughts of my parents being angry at me for going to a foreign country and dying there.  I didn't think about them being sad, but instead only felt that they would be angry at me, which is interesting.  I went to the door of the apartment to open it.  It was locked from the inside and you had to open it with a key.  My hand was shaking so much that it was hard to get the key into the keyhole.  Finally, I got the door unlocked.  Meanwhile the woman was still on the phone hysterical.  She had called her son, the owner of the newspaper and he called the fire department.  Then, she was back on the phone with her son.  All I remember was her being hysterical on the phone, not wanting to leave the apartment, but I knew I had to find a way out for us.

So, I got into the hallway.  We were on the second floor and the staircase was pitch dark.  You could not see your hand in front of your face.  I did not know where the light was and didn't waste much time feeling around for it.  I had to go down the staircase in total darkness.  The stairs were unusually wide, so I had to feel my way down with my hands along the wall or bannister and I had to inch my feet along each step, feeling my way to the edge of each step and stepping down.  Making my way down this staircase in the pitch dark was a slow and scary process, especially since I was trying to escape to safety as fast as I could.  And yet, here I was slowly inching my way down a staircase in the dark.  I got to the bottom and realized that there was no fire in the staircase and that we could escape safely.  I had to go back up to save the woman.  I inched my way back up the stairs, still in the pitch dark and yelled at the woman to COME NOW!  "There is no fire in the staircase! Let's go!"  I yelled at her in Portuguese and convinced her to come with me.  She hung up the phone and came.  She knew where the light was and turned it on for us to go down the stairs.  What a huge relief I had that there was light and I could see my way down the stairs!  Running down those stairs, my legs shaking uncontrollably, I knew I was going to live!

We got outside and no one noticed us.  It was as if we were invisible.  There was a huge crowd of people watching.  The firemen were working hard to get all the cars out from the underground parking garage.  This apartment was on top of a gas station.  The fire fighters were worried that if the fire got to the gas tanks, there would be huge explosions of fire and the cars would start exploding as well.  Their main concern was to prevent the fire from getting to the gas tanks and cars.  I can understand that.  Their handling that part of it, could have saved my life because the fire did get close to the gas tanks.  However, isn't the fire fighters first job to rescue the people?  Yes, it is.  It did not even occur to them that there were people upstairs. The woman and I were the only ones and that was the only apartment up there. The lights were on though and no one even bothered to look up and see that there were people up there that needed rescuing.  All these thoughts were going through my mind.  In complete disbelief that we were not even seen coming out of the building, I made my way through the crowd and walked across the street.  I stood watching all the action in complete shock.  I think at that moment all that fear that had come up within me got stored - encapsulated in the cells and muscles of my body - and I went into shock.  I was alive.  That was what I was feeling now.  I got out.

It occurred to me that my boyfriend would hear of the fire at work and be so scared as he rushed home to see his apartment building on fire, realizing that I was in there.  I felt his fear.  As an empath, it's what we do.  I went into a desperate feeling of hoping I would see him right away as he came down the street to alleviate his fear.  My worry and fear turned to him.  So, I stood there waiting for him, watching for him.  He made his way through the crowd, saw me, ran to me, and we hugged.  It was like a scene from a movie.  We were both so relieved to see each other.  "You're alive, you're ok."  "I'm alive, I'm ok."  Our hearts pounding as we embraced.  We were deeply in love.

It just so happened that we were standing in front of a 5-star hotel and they told us that we could sleep there that night for free.  What a godsend.  There was no way we could sleep in the apartment that night.  I don't think I even slept that night.  I was still in shock.

Can you guess what was on the front page of the paper the next day?  Yep.  Remember that was the owner of the newspaper's mother up there with me.  He wrote a full-page article blasting the "dumb" fire fighters for not rescuing the people, including his mother.  There was some justice in that.  Just having some recognition that we were completely forgotten felt right to me.

So, when my subconscious mind led me to that event under hypnosis, I was surprised that this was the origin of my ear pain.  As I was reliving it, I momentarily felt the piercing pain in my ear, but I also felt so many other things.  I cried and cried.  I relived each moment of this event again and again.  In hypnosis there is a method of guiding a client through a traumatic event over and over again.  Each time there is less emotional charge and the scene is visited repeatedly until there is no more emotion left.  I had to go through that scene so many times and there was still so much emotional release each time.  My body was also releasing the fear that had been stored in it all those years.  It trembled and the muscles spasmed and vibrated.  I could feel it all over my body in specific places, my jaw, my solar plexus, my lower back and my legs.  I felt pain and pressure in my head.  I had stored the stress in so many places in my body.  I needed to tremble and shake a lot to get it all out of my body.  I had stored the emotional trauma, too.  I had no idea it was in there.  No idea at all.

When animals undergo stress or the fight or flight response, they shake, tremble, jump or run around to allow the stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to finish their course through their body to be fully released. When I stepped outside and realized that I was safe, I prematurely interrupted this process.  My body stopped shaking and trembling.  There obviously was so much more releasing of the stress hormones that was needed.  I was 22 years old then.  One thing that is interesting is that I developed severe adrenal fatigue later on in my 20s.  I wonder if this accumulation of adrenaline and cortisol contributed to my illness just a few years later?  There is a link at the bottom of this post, which discusses this topic in more depth.

I described each thought I had in my description of this event on purpose, to illustrate that when going through a traumatic event, it is not only the emotions that are stored in the body-mind-soul, but also the thoughts that we are having at the time.  Who knows how these things affect us years later?  I still don't know how the releasing of this traumatic event will shift me and my world.  It's only been one day.  I do know that I have no pain in my left ear.  I feel that I have released a lot of tension from my body.  I know I released fear that I didn't even know I had.  I don't know why I had stored the trauma in my left ear.  Was it because I didn't want to hear what I was hearing (Fire! Fire!) in my sleep?  Did that trauma go into my ear and stay there?  Was it from the tension in my jaw?  I don't know all the answers.  Our bodies absorb things and we hold onto them until we release them.  

I have so many stories of my client's healings from undergoing hypnosis and going back to the origin of their pains and traumas.  Their stories are dramatic and their symptoms are relieved.  Now I know from my own experience how intense it is!  I felt like I had been hit by a truck last night and I was exhausted.  

I love hypnosis, because it is so easy to get to the root of problems and it is such a fast method to clear them out.  One session of hypnosis is equal to 10 talk therapy sessions according to research, but in my own practice, my clients have told me that one session has been more effective than 10 or 20 years of therapy.   

Below is a link to some information about how trauma affects the body and how animals respond.  We can learn a lot from them.  It is important to feel each trauma to its completion - allowing the body to shake and tremble until it naturally stops and if we are frozen into shock, to find a way (hypnosis for example) to go back to the event to shake it out.

Monday, March 25, 2013

My Jesus Stories: Part 2

In approximately 2008, I had a profound dream.  In the dream, my Spirit Guide came to me.  He sat down next to me and said very seriously, "You are Jesus."  I shook my head and looked at him in disbelief and said, "No."  He repeated, "Yes, you are Jesus."  I put my head down into my hands covering my face and in my knowing that this was true, said to myself, "This (knowing) cannot be about ego."  And that was the end of the dream.

The next morning I was having a gathering of people at my house for spiritual discussion.  One of my friends surprised me by coming early.  When I opened the door, she handed me a gift.  It was a book called, "The Third Jesus."  Wow, it felt like confirmation of my dream.

I took me a little while to process that dream.  I mean, I knew I wasn't really Jesus and didn't think I was actually him in another lifetime, so what did it mean?  First, I realized that I was a healer, a teacher and a way-shower, so in that sense, it made sense - I was on the same path as Jesus, similar to him in ways.  Then, I realized that what my Spirit Guide probably meant was that I have Christ Consciousness.  The second coming of Christ on this planet is not the return of Jesus, the man.  It is the return of Christ Consciousness embodied in many people around the world who anchor and spread this vibration throughout the planet.  I know I embody this ( I AM this) and spread this vibration through me.

During my intense struggles in 2012, I used to say that I was being crucified.  I was a high-vibrational being, living in truth, being a healer, being love and yet I was being torn down by many people.  It felt like I was walking in similar footsteps as Jesus.  I had to speak my truth and hold forgiveness in my heart no matter what.  So, I suppose my dream was helping to prepare me for coming days, I just didn't know it at the time.

I am not totally sure why I had that dream or what it meant, but it was a profound (and very surprising!) experience.  It was a very personal experience that I don't share with many people...until now by writing it here.  I am doing this openly because perhaps more people have had experiences like this, but because of fear of seeming like one has a big ego or what other people may think, they hide their experiences.  My purpose in writing about these experiences is to open up that platform - to help others feel comfortable in sharing their own profound spiritual experiences.  Perhaps if someone reads this and also has had a profound spiritual experience that they have kept secret, they may feel liberated enough to tell someone about it knowing that there are others who have had similar experiences.  Once I started telling a select few people about my experiences, they started telling me that they had had similar "Jesus experiences".  So, go and tell your stories!  And, I will keep telling mine.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

My Jesus Stories: Part 1

I used to be agnostic and vocal about my not believing in Jesus.  I would tell people that all those stories about Jesus and everything that was written in the bible were just that: stories.  None of it was true, I would say.

In 2005 or 2006, I was talking to a medical intuitive on the phone.  This man is an amazing medical intuitive with incredible accuracy.  I knew this to be true as he would tell me about my medical situations with complete accuracy.  During this one phone call, he told me that Mother Mary was watching over me.  I was surprised.  I did not believe in her either.  BUT, because everything this man told me was true, I had to question my beliefs.  If Mother Mary was real, then Jesus was real, too.  So, this is how I started to consider that there really was a Jesus and Mary.  I was not completely convinced, but my mind was now open to the possibility.

My spiritual journey unfolded rapidly in those days with new awarenesses flowing in on a regular basis.

Fast forward to 2007.  During a dream, which was not really a dream, but a real spiritual experience I had one night, I was at my spiritual teacher's home.  I was lying on a massage table with my friends around me and we were doing spiritual healing work together.  Suddenly, my body arched up and mostly off the table because a huge Being of Light entered my body.  I was now out of my body while this Light Being was in my body, but I still had body consciousness, so I could feel the essence of who it was and still feel my body completely, even though I was also aware of my consciousness being outside of my body during that time.  Then after a little while, my body fell back down onto the table when this Light Being left my body and I re-entered my body completely.  I looked over at my spiritual teacher and said, "That was a Grand Master."  She knowingly nodded her head.  I said, "That was Jesus."  She nodded her head and smiled.  She knew.

A few weeks later, I was on the phone with this same spiritual teacher.  I asked her what that experience was about.  She told me that the Masters sometimes pulse their vibrations into our bodies so that we can attune ourselves to that vibration.  Wow.  I was very grateful to Jesus for coming (in)to me in that way.  For sure my doubts about him being real were completely gone.  I suppose first-hand experience is what I needed to believe.  And, I do believe.  In fact, I don't just believe in Jesus, I love him.

Kundalini Yoga and Me: Part 2

Kundalini Yoga kicks your butt.

It's not just that your muscles get tired and sore from doing it.  It stirs up emotions and uncovers what is held deep within your unconscious and subconscious mind in order for those buried emotions to be dealt with and released.

That explains why several people in my KY Teacher Training were crying during our weekend-long class and others said they cried after class.  I did not cry.  Instead, I felt euphoric, elated, high-vibing, and had waves of love pouring through me after each class.  I really felt incredible.

Until Monday.

Then, I was irritable, down and lonely.  This lasted for two weeks.  A friend pointed out to me that ever since I started my Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training, I had not been myself emotionally.  I had also realized this correlation, so I went online and did a quick search to see if there was a relationship between negative emotional release and Kundalini Yoga.  This is how I found out that yes, indeed, there is.  It stirs up your "stuff".

What is interesting is that in our last class, our instructor showed us a video of Yogi Bhajan, who brought KY to the US from India.  In the video he talks about how as children we are taught to use the potty - "to contain our shit".  We are taught from a very young age that "we must put our shit into a container and contain it".  He says this yoga helps us to release it.

Luckily, I have had years of experience working on my stuff.  I don't find that I have any major issues left to deal with (that I am aware of at least) - just life as it comes up in the present moment, which we all have to deal with until we leave this place.  So, I feel pretty clear in my mental and emotional bodies.  However, I still had this underlying irritability and discontent that came up after doing that weekend-long training, so it did bring up whatever residual stuff was in there.  It mostly had to do with my present-life situation - I felt like I wanted to look at every aspect of my current life and fix all of it right away.  Not a bad thing at all.

Another friend pointed out that I was being triggered in my core issue.  With that realization and knowing, I felt an empowerment surge through me in that instant and I knew that I could and would overcome it.  In that instant it was healed and it was effortless.  This feels like a miracle.  I attribute this rapid transformation to the practicing of Kundalini Yoga.      

That night, exactly two weeks after that first weekend training and those two weeks of feeling down, I had a pooping dream. (sorry to be so graphic!)  I filled the whole toilet in that dream.  The next morning, I woke up as a new person!  I was myself again and I felt great!  I didn't even have to "work through" my stuff.  Just one dream and I was done with it.  Amazing!  What I am finding so fascinating about this yoga is that it does seem to bring up what lies deep in the subconscious for clearing, but at least in my case, it seems that the clearing is automatic.  It just clears away without thought or processing.  I am astounded by the rapidity with which the shifts take place.

I feel lucky that I am doing this training after having worked through most of my stuff way before I started it so that I can enjoy the higher-vibrational benefits of it immediately.  It's not that I am perfect.  It's that having been on the spiritual and healing path for many years, I know the difference between who I was when I started on that path and who I am now.  I see the people around me going into emotional breakdowns and I understand what they are going through.  It is not a bad thing that Kundalini Yoga stirs up and clears out your crap - it's a good thing and a great way to do it.  It's also good for people to know that this can happen.  I read that people tend to run away from doing this yoga once this emotional clearing starts to happen, so I think it's good for people to know about this ahead of time.  I actually got a little worried myself and wondered if doing it was a bad thing, since I felt so bad after the weekend training.  However, learning about the tendency for emotional releasing from this practice has brought me relief.  Since then I have done more KY workshops and classes and I have benefited from the high vibrations that move through me as a result.  There is a softness within me and a deeper peace.

So, yes, this yoga kicks your butt in many ways, but in good ways.  And the journey continues....