I Felt Like I Was Going to Die

My car accident was on Monday, December 10^th, 2012.  For a few weeks leading up to this event I felt like I was going to die and cross over to the other side.  I even told a friend that I felt like I was going to die.  I told her that I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want to leave Skyler here without me.  I am all he has.  He says he does not like his dad and never wants to see him, so I would never want to leave him here without me.  That was a big fear of mine.  However, this feeling that I was going to die soon was strong. 

Souls on the other side were reaching out to me.  My father kept on coming to me.  I would ask him telepathically why he kept coming into my field and he would just be so happy and celebratory as if I were coming to join him soon. Others I have known and loved who are on the other side were coming into my awareness, too. 

I was also having spontaneous life reviews coming up in my mind from time to time.  That’s a hard thing to explain.  

On the day of the accident I had seen a client for a Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy session.  She is a soul who is here to help people cross over to the other side.  It was shown to her that that was the reason she came here and has done it many, many times with loved ones.  After the session was over and I was leaving my office I wondered if she also came into my life at that moment, because I was about to cross over and she was helping my soul with that transition in some way.  I had been so touched by her and felt so much love and honor for what she came here to do.  I felt a connection with her at that level.  My feeling of wondering if she came to me at that time was one more unusual feeling in this string of feelings that were coming to me along these lines for weeks.

Then that afternoon, the accident happened.  It immediately felt like an exit point.  Even Skyler screamed, “Did you die?!”  I wonder if he had also been feeling the possibility of my leaving soon?  We, as souls, put into place several exit points along the way in our lives.  These are predetermined times when we can leave this planet and cross over.  Our souls decide if we are going to keep on going in this lifetime or if we are going to leave at that exit point.  I know I have had a few exit points in this life already.  My soul has chosen to stay.  Now that I have stayed this time again, my life is on a new path. 

Choosing to stay at an exit point shifts the soul contract in a way because there are new alignments, new choices and new experiences from that point forward.  It is quite a shift for the soul.  These new things have already shown up in my life and my life seems to be taking a new direction.  All of it feels like an upgrade.  I brought in a new soul fragment at the time of the impact and am integrating that new piece of me.  More of me is here now.  It feels good.  I am healing from my brain injury and am working on healing my body as well.  I will be writing about that journey one day soon I am sure.  I know I will be sticking around here for a while longer, so I know I have more time to write.  That feels good.  I am excited about the new opportunities, energies and people that have come into my life since the car crash.  It all feels divinely orchestrated and I feel so incredibly blessed.  

Car Accident

Car accident
Scary
Crash
Scream
Hit head
Hard
Skyler screams
"Did you die?!"
"No!"
Poor child
Crying
Me
Not him

Hit from behind
Full speed
I was stopped
Red light
Why?
Texting?
I don't know
He was charged
My car hit hers, too
From impact
Double whammy
Sandwich
Total loss

He is 25
No apology
Too guilty
Shame
Police interrogate
Denies, lies
I forgive
Immediately
Accident
His fault
No blame
Release him
Release me
Freedom
Free from karma

Concussion
Brain shake
Mild traumatic brain injury
I'm not right
Speech slow
Not normal
Trauma
Confusion
Eyes want to close
Hard to keep open
Hard to focus
Feel drunk
Nauseous
Nice paramedics
So handsome
Vital signs good

Emergency room
Alone
Scared
Pray
Brain swelling?
Brain bleeding?
CT scan
Radiation bad
Brain good
No damage
Slow speech
Slow walking
Slow movements
Stroke victims
I understand you
Cognitive good
Expression not
Phrases
Not sentences
Out of it
Not normal
Skin is numb
Very scared

Body trembles
Muscles spasm
Cry
Trauma

Friends angels
Help and save
Help and save
Very lucky

Muscle reeelaaaxxxeeers

Whiplash
No neck brace
Good
Sleep
Good

Pray

Why did this happen?

Add this
To previous blog
Enough
Mercy
Mercy, please

Thanks to Grace

Prayer works.  I was about to face the most challenging day of my life: a full-day custody trial.  My ex-husband had filed for full custody of our son, the light of my life.  I didn't think he had a chance to win,  but you never know what the judge will decide and you have to be prepared for anything.  What I wanted most for that day was to be mentally, physically and emotionally calm.  So, I prayed for that calmness.  I did not pray for the outcome of the case to go my way, instead I prayed for the outcome that was best and highest for each soul involved.  But mostly I prayed for deep peace and calmness within myself so that I could speak well, represent myself well, maintain composure and be in my power for the entirety of the day.

About three days before the trial, the thought occurred to me to ask my father in spirit to be with me on that day.  My dad's name was Thomas.  The next day I was preparing my outfit for the trial.  I was cutting the tag off the dress that I had bought a couple of weeks before as it was hanging in my closet.  I reached for the tag and saw that the style of the dress was named "Thomas"!  My dad really was going to be with me on that day and he was letting it be known.  Skyler Thomas, my son, has a close connection with his grandfather even though they have not met in this lifetime.  It made sense that his presence would be there for me, but also for his grandson.

On the morning of the trial I woke up in a state of calm.  I did not have to try to calm myself down for the upcoming event later that morning, I already was deeply calm.  Normally, when facing a difficult confrontation or event, my breathing becomes shallow, I feel tense, my heart races, and the adrenaline starts to rush but not on this day.  My prayers had worked.  I felt divinely supported.

Upon arrival to the courthouse, I felt happy and calm.  I met my dearly beloved friends, who were my witnesses, and my wonderful lawyer.  I gave everyone a hug and standing outside the courtroom door I made jokes and engaged in jovial conversations.  I did not feel or seem like a woman about to face losing custody of her son.

My ex-husband was extremely tense and serious.  Could it be that he had not prayed?

The trial went well and I kept joint custody of my son, maintaining our five days a week together.  Hallelujah and praise be to Grace!  By the Grace of God my prayers were answered and I was totally calm, well-spoken and in my power the whole day!  It was effortless.  I felt that I was held in a bubble of peace and tranquility.  The spiritual support I received that day was palpable.

Wishing you peace in your heart.

       

I Am Not Only Stephanie

Do you know that you are a fraction of God?  You can call that anything you like:  Creator, Spirit, Source, Infinite Intelligence, The Divine, The All That Is, YHWH.....in fact, in Kabbalah there are 72 names of God.  Whatever you call it, it is a unified energy that links everything.  It is even what comes before energy, the potential, the origin of all there is.  Because everything emanates from this source, there is no separation; all is one.  Everything in existence is a manifestation coming from this energy or consciousness.  All that exists has consciousness.  Consciousness can flow from one thing to another, or in other words, it can move its awareness into many different things.

We are individuations of God.  We contain a portion of God's energy.  A spark of the Divine is within all of us.

A larger portion of the God Self is the Monad and from the Monad stems the Oversoul, which is then fractionated into souls.  The soul enters a body to experience an existence or a life.  Souls coming from the same Monad and Oversoul are in the same soul family.  We all merge back together eventually, after as much has been experienced as possible and then we all merge back into The One.  It is much more complicated than this as there are infinite universes and an expansiveness that is beyond our comprehension.  Additionally, there are infinite life forms and states of being throughout the multiverse.  Those have their own hierarchical systems and sets of laws which govern their existence.

Perhaps all of this exists so God can experience itself and ultimately, we can know ourselves as God.  Perhaps this is all for infinite expansion.  Because what else would we do?  We get bored with stagnation and sameness.  

Even though I sound like I know what I am talking about, it is impossible for me to fully know the mind of God or what it is all about.  I can only express what I feel I know at this time from my personal experiences.  I do not believe that any human can fully know what God is all about, since we are operating through a human brain, which has major limitations.  One thing I know for sure is that I really don't know anything at all.  I have ideas and experiences.

I have had a few interesting experiences, which have shown me that I am more than the person that is typing these words.

One morning as I was waking up I gained consciousness just before the moment of waking.  My consciousness was outside of my body and while in that state of awareness, I, the "I" that is not Stephanie, thought to myself, "Now, which one am I again?"  I was trying to re-enter the body, but first needed to remember who I was being in that life.  I remembered and began to feel who I was being.  I thought, "Oh yeah, I am that woman, Stephanie."  I then began to feel the essence of her in totality, an encapsulated energetic snapshot of all she is in that particular life.  It was a very strange sensation to experience consciousness from outside the perspective of Stephanie.  I am living a life as Stephanie, but I am not only her.  I am just being her for a while.  A portion of consciousness is in her.  I am experiencing life through her, which is a unique expression and a way to gather more experience.  But the I that was outside of her is me.  Is your brain starting to hurt?

Another time, I was under hypnosis experiencing another lifetime.  I was a young woman with a baby.  I was lying on my back on the grass in a field on a very sunny day holding my baby up in the air above me.  The sun was shining brightly in my face.  The baby was smiling and having so much fun being held above me.  I was very happy.  This was in the 1940s in Europe.  A little later in that life I died in the holocaust.

I was doing a hypnosis session with a friend sometime after my experience above and she went into another lifetime.  She proceeded to tell me about the exact same scene as I have just described with the young woman and the baby on a sunny day lying in the grass.  All of the details were the same.  Later in that life she died in the Holocaust.

So, whose life was it?  Hers or mine or both?  Do we share the same soul?  Or did she pick up on my alternate lifetime because she was unconsciously tapping into my energetic field while in that altered state of consciousness?  I have heard that this is a common occurrence.  So, when we have alternate life memories, are they really our own?  Since consciousness can flow through all things, perhaps we can access the lives of any being.  How do we really know if they are our own experiences?  Sometimes alternate life memories are programmed into our minds so that we can access that information, because it is pertinent to our learning for that lifetime.  But in the end, since we are really all connected and one, can't we all tap into the universal mind to experience any existence?  So, when we are having those memories of alternate experiences, who are we being then?  Now my brain is starting to hurt.

Incidentally, this friend of mine passed away last year.  When I found out about her passing, she came to me in a dream as a black panther.  I knew the panther was her, because I know her energetic signature.  There was no question it was her.  She took that form to make a symbolic statement for me.   We are each a unique essence that is knowable no matter what form we are in.

Once, during a Life Between Lives hypnosis session, while in my soul-state in the spirit world, my father came to me.  He was pure energy.  I could feel his essence completely and it was him, but he had no form other than this flowing energy that was a distinct color.  The color was like a mixture of gold, green, yellow, and tan.  When we are not in a body, we are still who we are at the soul level and so much more.

I have had very real experiences of being in different forms.  One time in a dream that felt more like a memory than a dream, I was a moth.  I was sleeping under the wooden seat on a wooden canoe on a peaceful lake at dawn.  The boat was close to shore.  Some humans were walking to the boat about to take a canoe ride together.  I remember hearing those humans talking and walking toward the canoe, knowing they were about to get into it and that I had to force myself to wake up fully and fly away even though I was tired.  I did not want to fly away since I had been sleeping and was still tired, but as any moth would do, I flew away once they stepped into the canoe.  How could I have such a memory of being a moth?  I have no idea, but I did.

Another time while meditating, I spontaneously became a dolphin.  I was swimming through the water and could feel the soft water on my dolphin skin.  I was moving up and down through the water as a dolphin does and I was with one of my friends, someone I know in this life.  We decided to incarnate as humans to experience this type of physicality, at least this was my knowing when we were swimming together as dolphins.

Another experience I had was one night when I was falling asleep.  At the moment of falling asleep, I became a lion.  I was walking as the lion and felt like this was who I really was and that being the human Stephanie was more of a temporary existence.  As soon as I became consciously aware of being the lion, I woke up and was pulled out of the lion and completely back into Stephanie.  The next night, upon falling asleep, the exact same thing happened.

There are infinite parallel universes with infinite yous.  For every decision you make, there are alternate yous making different decisions to fulfill all the other options available in that situation in order to experience all possibilities.  This ensures that your soul experiences everything within the realm of possible to bring that information back to your soul family, Oversoul, Monad and back to God.  The yous in all those other parallel realities are just like the you you are now with negligible differences.  This is the explanation I recently read in Dolores Cannon's, The Convoluted Universe, Book One.  I don't know what is truth, but this is a fun concept that I have also read about in one of Neale Donald Walsch's books.

That may explain the dream I once had in which I was having a deep-hearted conversation with my parents, who were not really my parents in this life.  But they were my parents in some reality and it was I, Stephanie, who was talking to them.  But maybe it was another I that I was tapping into.  The situation and feelings applied to this life as me, too.

Another unusual experience I had was when I was talking to a friend and suddenly I was overcome with the feeling that I was her and she was me; there was no separation or other.  It was a surreal feeling and hard to describe.  This happened twice with two different friends and it was the same exact feeling.

So, who am I?  I am consciousness.  I am a spark of the Divine.  And so are you.  I am you and you are me and we are being different aspects of each other, because we are all God.  We are one.

Mental Telepathy Blowing My Mind

I have spent the past 5 days taking care of my son while he's been sick.  I think that has something to do with the instances of telepathy that we have been having that have been absolutely jaw-dropping to both of us.  Over and over again we would have the same thoughts and one of us would speak them out loud.  We would both crack up as we told the other that we had been thinking the exact same thing at that exact moment - things that were un-related to anything we had been talking about or doing.  "Hey, I was just about to say that!", or "I was just thinking that!", became the theme of the day.  One night we even had the same dream!

The same thing happened when I was taking care of my father when he had cancer.  Those times we actually said the same sentences in unison multiple times.  Those instances of telepathy really blew our minds.  One day we were driving along the highway near DC.  It was a beautiful fall day and the leaves were all kinds of brilliant colors.  We had been silent for some time and one of us commented on how pretty the trees were.  After another pause in conversation, at the same time we both said, "You don't get this out in Colorado."  We looked at each other wide-eyed and jaws-dropped.  We had not even been talking about Colorado at all.  I had lived there prior to coming home to take care of my dad, but we had not mentioned Colorado in our conversations.

I think that when we are in close proximity with another and spend a lot of time with that person, our energy fields merge and we can pick up on the thoughts of the other.  I think it is nothing more complicated than that.  Even so, it is always amazing when it happens.

Another interesting story of telepathy I have is when I was pregnant with Skyler.  I remember I was walking into my living room not really thinking about anything in particular when there was a sudden, booming announcement in my head.  Yes, I heard this inside my head and with it came a visual, like the title to a Broadway show in lights.  The announcement was dramatic and big.  It said, "June 26th!"  Skyler's estimated due date was June 21st, so I thought, "Huh, I wonder if someone is telling me the date my son will be born?  And, I wonder who that someone is?"

I went into labor on June 25th and thought, "Oh well, I guess that date was not his birthdate."  Little did I know at the time that I would labor overnight and my son would be born on June 26th.

Just a few days ago, Skyler told me that he had two pre-birth memories.  One of them was before he was in the womb, while he was still on the other side.  He said that I had asked him which date he would like to be born and I threw out several dates.  He chose June 26th.  He distinctly remembers choosing that date to be born.  That explains my sudden urgency to get pregnant.  It really had not been on my mind and we had only been married for a year when I told my husband (now ex), "I have to have a baby NOW."  And that is how it went down.  The push to get pregnant felt as if it were coming from the soul of my son wanting to be born.  The drive to have a baby right then was overwhelming.

There is another story of telepathic communication I had with my son while he was in the womb.  One day while pregnant, I was reading through a book of baby names at someone's house.  I came across the name Adonis, which means "extremely handsome man".  I was alone and laughed inwardly, thinking that it would be so ridiculous if I named my son Adonis.  The next day I had a session with an energy healer over the phone.  She was able to communicate with my son in the womb.  The first thing she told me was that he was saying that I should name him Adonis!  She said he was laughing, making a joke.  That kid did come in with quite a sense of humor!  I could not believe that he was able to pick up on my thoughts.

Since then I have learned that babies in the womb are totally aware of what is going on and can read the minds of their mothers and fathers.  I take my hypnosis clients into the womb and they tell me from the soul-state all that is going on in the family they are about to be born into, why they chose that family and that life and many other things that we don't think babies in the womb would be aware of.  But of course!  They are still on the other side.  It is only when they are born that the veil of forgetfulness is put down.  Only now, it seems that that veil is thinning.  Telepathy is becoming more frequent for me and my intuition has grown tremendously.  Things are shifting so fast.  We are in some exciting times for sure and I think it is becoming more and more fun!

           

Our Oneness is Undeniable

The other night I had a dream.  In the dream I had gotten a very bad sunburn on my face.  It was so bad that my skin was cracking off in large, thick pieces.  There were two particularly bad spots on my cheek under my eye.  I put a couple of pieces of aloe vera on top of those two spots for healing and to soothe the pain.

Later that morning in real life....  I went to work.  I am a hypnotherapist.  My client that morning was an 80-year old caucasian man who had grown up overseas in a tropical climate where they had no sun screen.  He proceeded to tell me that he had gotten many severe sunburns as a child and now had skin cancer.  He had two spots IN THE EXACT SAME LOCATION as my two bad spots in my dream.  He pointed to them and said they had to remove two thick pieces.  

Needless to say, I was shocked.  

I ended up telling him about my dream.  I pointed to the two spots on my face that had been so affected, where the two thick pieces came off.  We both sat there shaking our heads in wonderment!

Our oneness is undeniable.  

Somehow my consciousness connected with this man while asleep.  I am not sure why or how this happens, but it does cause some thought-provoking questions.

While this example is profound, I have been observing a similar phenomenon with my clients.  What happens is this:  I will have an emotion, thought, or feeling in the morning before going to work.  When I see my first client of the day, the client will then proceed to tell me their issues, which match the exact emotion, thought, or feeling that I had been having that morning.  I realize that what I had been feeling was not mine.  I am energetically connecting and tuning in with my clients without realizing it.  I also tend to go through hypnosis scripts before they come into my office, not always knowing what they want to work on in the session, and somehow I pick a script that is exactly what they need.

Humanity is part of one group consciousness.  We are like one organism with many cells, with each one affecting the other.  What you do to another, you do to yourself.  Be kind in this world and treat others as you wish to be treated.

We are merging more and more into oneness everyday.  I am seeing this in my dreams and in countless synchronicities in my waking life.  Life is sometimes so surreal that I can see the hologram we live in.  It makes me wonder what this is all about.  I have not figured that out yet, which is ok.  The only thing I do know is that we are all One. 

A Healing Between Souls

In the spring of 2000, I had a profound dream.  It was one of those dreams in which you know it actually happened on the soul level.  The only other person in the dream was my father.  He was an emotionally-detached workaholic and not engaged with his family.  He was always there, still married to my mother, but he was absent in many ways.

In this dream I was standing before my father, expressing my RAGE at him for not being there for me in the ways I felt he should have been.  I had not realized in my waking-life that I had this much rage.  In the dream, the rage was enormous.  My father stood there receiving what I was pouring out at him.  He heard me, received me, and acknowledged me.  The look on his face was that of shock and innocence.  He had no idea that his emotionally-distant and unaffectionate ways had had that much of an impact on me.  He looked at me with his innocent eyes and told me he had no idea and that he was so sorry.  I saw and felt his sincere feelings of being completely unaware of his negligent behavior and his deep remorse.  In that moment, we healed.  I had expressed what I needed to and had purged it from my being.  He had expressed his remorse, regret and apology.  There was nothing between us but unconditional love and total forgiveness on the soul level and this carried over into our waking-life relationship.  I know this was divinely orchestrated just in the nick of time.  

Our soul contracts were nearing completion for this lifetime, but I did not know this yet.  My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer just a few months after this dream.  The cancer was present in his body when this dream occurred.  When I found out that my father was dying, I dropped everything and moved from Colorado back home to DC to care for him for the rest of his life, which ended 5 months later.  The time we spent together was divine, loving and peaceful.  There was no emotional distance between us and we were incredibly connected, even being telepathic with each other a few times and laughing about it in amazement.  It was a wonderful time even though it was difficult.

I have no doubt that this healing between our souls was divinely orchestrated.  It made it possible for me to be my father's care-taker without any "issues" between us.  I had no anger or resentment toward him at all, just pure, unconditional love.  I am glad it happened that way and feel so blessed to have spent that beautiful time with him.  I felt like I never really had a father, but in the end I did even if it was for a brief time.  The connection has remained since he has crossed over.  He has visited me in so many dreams, come to me in my waking-life on a regular basis and communicated with me a lot.  I can feel him strongly and I have never missed him.  I always say, "I don't miss him, because I never had him."  But now, I have him in my life more than I ever did when he was alive.  The connection and love is great.  Thanks, Dad!

Dying on a Hot Spot

Twelve years ago this month, my father was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.  The doctor told him he had 8 to 10 months to live.  He died 5 months later at the age of 57.

The cancer cell type my father had was from environmental exposure, not smoking.  Aside from the occasional cigar, my father was a non-smoker.  The doctor's first question to him when he was diagnosed was, "Have you ever been exposed to anything?"

I grew up in a neighborhood in Washington, DC called Spring Valley.  The name of this neighborhood used to be "Arsenic Valley" and was changed to Spring Valley when a building company bought it to build homes on the land.  After World War I, the Army buried munitions and toxic chemicals under the ground throughout this neighborhood and later homes were built on top of this contaminated land.  Hence, the name change.

My father lay on his death bed as he read this article that had just come out in the Washingtonian Magazine in December 2000, the same month my father left this earth.  The article is about the contamination, illnesses caused by it, and the cover up by the Army.  I'll never forget how after reading the article and knowing that he was dying because of his exposure to these toxins, my father punched his fist up into the air and said, "Fight for me!"

Meanwhile, a few houses away another neighbor was dying of cancer and in the two houses next to that one lived neighbors who BOTH had a very rare blood disease.  I remember a neighbor pointing to almost each house on the block saying, "That one, breast cancer, that one, another kind of cancer, that one, another..."  And this was only one block.

Right after my father died, I attended a meeting with representatives from the Army Corps of Engineers and the EPA.  The Army Corps of Engineers had taken over the clean-up mission of the contaminated areas known as "Hot Spots".  There were people from the neighborhood at the meeting, but very few.  My brother, sister and I attended that first meeting together.  A neighbor from up the block who was dying of esophageal cancer was there, too.  I got a migraine headache at that meeting due to the stress of the situation.  I never went back.  It was too close to home, I could not deal with more stress at the time, and I knew there was nothing that I, as one citizen, could do to achieve justice.  I was exhausted from taking care of my father during his illness and I needed to heal.  So Dad, I initially tried to "fight for you," but in the end, all I could do was care for you in your last days the best I knew how.

The clean-up mission was projected to last into the year 2125 or longer!  It's a big job with a huge amount of contamination.  And no, there was not a mass exodus from this neighborhood after this news became public.  And you may wonder why there was not more of an uprising from the neighbors or more of them in attendance at the meetings with the Army Corps of Engineers.  The answer comes down to the same reason this scandal was covered up to begin with: money.  The residents of Spring Valley did not want to see the value of their million dollar and multi-million dollar homes go down.  It's that simple.  People wanted to remain hush-hush about it and go on with their lives and hope more people would not find out about it.  Hey, if we look the other way long enough, maybe everyone will forget it ever happened.

The clean-up continues on in a quiet kind of way.  The families who have lost their loved ones and pets grieve in a quiet kind of way.  Life goes on as if nothing had ever happened just as it does with most government cover-ups.  Hopefully one day we will live in a world where the desire for a profit does not override the honoring of the sacredness of life.       

God Speaks

I have been pondering the *truth* regarding whether humans should be eating animal protein.  Having spent a brief period of time last year eating vegan and vegetarian, I found that I eventually craved butter (of all things!) and meat.  I also started noticing pain in my joints.  My decision to eat vegan and vegetarian at the time felt like a cleansing period as well as experimental.  I wanted to see how it felt.  It turned out not to be for me in the long-term.  My body seems to do very well with a sufficient amount of animal protein.  Nevertheless, in my endless quest for the truth I have been asking internally, "Are humans supposed to eat meat?"

So, yesterday I was minding my own business when I heard the words "Deuteronomy 12" enter my head.  I made a mental note to check that out.  You have to understand that I did not grow up with religion.  I became an atheist at age 10 and found God at age 29.  It actually felt like God found me, but that's another post I'll have to write one day.  I have never owned a bible nor have I read it.  I literally just had to look up how to spell "Deuteronomy".  So, to hear these words come into my head was...um, interesting.  I checked in my housemate's meditation room and lo and behold!  She had a bible in there.  Thank God!  So, I looked up Deuteronomy 12.  I read chapters 12-14.  Those chapters contain information about what foods humans should eat!  The verses go into detail about the animals that are clean and unclean for us to eat.  It seems that God was answering my questions.  The only problem now is that I am questioning the validity of the Bible.  I mean, was that part tampered with?  Is that truth?  Ah, my quest for the truth has me seeking without end.  And that's ok.  


In the end, I do feel that God spoke to me with those words which entered my head.  I am glad I listened.  It brought me some answers for sure and I have solace in my decision to eat meat.  God is always speaking to us, we just have to quiet our minds and listen.  We need to trust what we hear.


For days leading up to this, I had been hearing the words "loaves and fishes" in my head over and over again.  I did not understand.  God had to do a little better with me, like knock me on the head with the exact Bible chapter I was to read.  That time, I listened.


Another synchronistic part of this story is that earlier in the day yesterday, I had stumbled upon a video on YouTube in which a man was saying that God talks to us and that we should share with others what we are hearing.  He even said that God would tell you which parts of the Bible to read.  I didn't know why I watched that video and I knew when he was speaking that he wasn't speaking to me.  Or, was he?  


I love how God brings truth into light.


Peace and love,
Stephanie