Friday, July 13, 2012

A Healing Between Souls

In the spring of 2000, I had a profound dream.  It was one of those dreams in which you know it actually happened on the soul level.  The only other person in the dream was my father.  He was an emotionally-detached workaholic and not engaged with his family.  He was always there, still married to my mother, but he was absent in many ways.

In this dream I was standing before my father, expressing my RAGE at him for not being there for me in the ways I felt he should have been.  I had not realized in my waking-life that I had this much rage.  In the dream, the rage was enormous.  My father stood there receiving what I was pouring out at him.  He heard me, received me, and acknowledged me.  The look on his face was that of shock and innocence.  He had no idea that his emotionally-distant and unaffectionate ways had had that much of an impact on me.  He looked at me with his innocent eyes and told me he had no idea and that he was so sorry.  I saw and felt his sincere feelings of being completely unaware of his negligent behavior and his deep remorse.  In that moment, we healed.  I had expressed what I needed to and had purged it from my being.  He had expressed his remorse, regret and apology.  There was nothing between us but unconditional love and total forgiveness on the soul level and this carried over into our waking-life relationship.  I know this was divinely orchestrated just in the nick of time.  

Our soul contracts were nearing completion for this lifetime, but I did not know this yet.  My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer just a few months after this dream.  The cancer was present in his body when this dream occurred.  When I found out that my father was dying, I dropped everything and moved from Colorado back home to DC to care for him for the rest of his life, which ended 5 months later.  The time we spent together was divine, loving and peaceful.  There was no emotional distance between us and we were incredibly connected, even being telepathic with each other a few times and laughing about it in amazement.  It was a wonderful time even though it was difficult.

I have no doubt that this healing between our souls was divinely orchestrated.  It made it possible for me to be my father's care-taker without any "issues" between us.  I had no anger or resentment toward him at all, just pure, unconditional love.  I am glad it happened that way and feel so blessed to have spent that beautiful time with him.  I felt like I never really had a father, but in the end I did even if it was for a brief time.  The connection has remained since he has crossed over.  He has visited me in so many dreams, come to me in my waking-life on a regular basis and communicated with me a lot.  I can feel him strongly and I have never missed him.  I always say, "I don't miss him, because I never had him."  But now, I have him in my life more than I ever did when he was alive.  The connection and love is great.  Thanks, Dad!

No comments:

Post a Comment